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Delicious Ambiguity

A scheduling mistake at the hospital today resulted in an extra long wait before seeing the phlebotomist for a CBC test, but there was, as so often happens, a silver lining: Amy and I used the time to stroll through the courtyard and see the Red Doors created by various local artists to support Gilda's Club Seattle, an organization inspired by Gilda Radner and dedicated to providing "a free program where men, women and children living with cancer, along with their family and friends, build emotional support as a supplement to medical care."  The doors are being shown in various places throughout the local area, and will be auctioned off on October 20, with the proceeds being used to help fund the program.

Many of the doors were captivating, each in different ways.  My two favorites were Gilda Cubist (by Freeda Lapos Babson, a [human] artist -- and breast cancer survivor -- from Edmonds) and Pachyderm's Pride (by Watoto, Bamboo, Chai and Hansa, four elephant artists from the Woodland Park Zoo), shown below.  The former had all kinds of inspirational scrabble-like words embedded in various places, and a caption across the middle and bottom crosspieces reading "Treat everyone well" and "We are all one family" ... resonating with my own increasing connection to (and through) compassion and growing awareness that, on a certain level, we are all survivors.  The second evoked powerful imagery of elephants using their trunks to create art.

Cubistgilda   Pachydermartists

The poster introducing the Red Door Campaign began with a quote from Gilda Radner that prompted the title for this post:

Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

This sentiment reflects our own experience with cancer, though I'm not sure that either Amy or I have reached a stage where we might use the term "delicious" to describe either of our feelings about the heightened awareness of ambiguity we've come to know over the past several months.

As for the test results, Amy's red blood cell counts are slightly higher (hermatocrit level is up to 32%), but her white blood cell counts are a bit lower than last Wednesday (neutrophils down to 1.42 and lymphocytes down to 0.32), so we will continue taking precautions against potential infections.  She has been eating more regularly, having fewer bouts of diarrhea, and the pain from the radiation has subsided a bit.  However, the fatigue persists ... and we were told today that it is likely to persist for several more weeks.  Meanwhile, we will do our best to make the most of our moments.

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